Why did my bipolar girlfriend split up with me?
07.06.2025 06:25
3. Depression/hypomania/mania
so it’s a given that she must experience mood swings and have trouble regulating her mind set, literally the requirements for being diagnosed haha. For me, my moods fluctuate super quickly. I may be hyper manic for a day or two then have half a day where I’m in a deep depressive state, then by the afternoon/night I’m back to being hyper manic again. At times I have had much longer spells of deep debilitating depression and have also had full on mania last for a couple weeks and be completely detached and out of it. I’m actually glad things decided to switch up the speed and alternate between moods super duper quicker than before. No more weeks on end of not being able to get out of bed or feel joy at the sound of my children laughing. Believing that I am the problem that just keeps getting bigger and I was such a burden to the world. The mania can be addictive though! Those hyper manic moods, uugghh! Better than any high you could get off any drug! Motivated! Present! Playful, active, happy, determined, focused, patient, bubbly, thriving and completely fucking soaring at the top of cloud nine! Oh, how wonderful it would be if that were the real me! During those hyper manic phases we love everyone and everything and we have all the time in the world for anyone that needs us! We want to visit everyone and be apart of everything! We are happy and see the good in every situation! We love hard and laugh harder! It’s honestly the best feeling in the world! Then we have those deep depressive episodes and our world turns black and grey and nothing or no one can make you believe you are worthy. It’s honestly awful.. I always feel for my man during these times. The burden of checking in on me to make sure I’m okay but also taking over the role of mum as well as being dad to our beautiful girls. I can’t function and my brain constantly bashes me with ‘just get up’ ‘it’s not even that hard you’re just a sook’ ‘you’re just useless’ ‘get up you lazy fuck! You have people that need you!’ It’s mental tournament to the extreme! Then paired with just a little sprinkle of paranoia and a pinch of anxiety.. BOOM all your friends hate you for being mentally Ill! Your partner thinks you’re a piece of shit for not being able to just get the fuck up and help him! He would be ‘sooo much better with a more hands on active parent’ my kids don’t even care that I’m not around and it’s my fault cause all I do is cry and sleep. that’s the nasty side of this shit. A hell created inside your own mind. Then mania. Wow can that make you do some fucked up shit! Not like the usual silly things you would typically do while playing with your kids or being a goofy goose with your mates on a Saturday night drunk after the pub. I’m talking like full on crazy shit.. having to wrap all your electronics in foil cause someone might be tapping them and using them as a way to listen to everything you say or even think! or believing that you were sent to earth by a higher power and you are the only one that can lead everyone to greatness because you are the messiah. Shit is weird and we usually black out during these episodes. Thankfully I have always had amazing support and my partner can stop me before shit hits the fan. Usually these manic episodes don’t go unnoticed and are very obvious that something is severely wrong. I’m sure you’d notice it yourself. But the huge burnout that comes after these can be so taxing.. on you, on your family, they are like having you dead but still here to care for. Gone but not? I cry at the thought of a sad song or my kids not even trying to be sweet. Thinking about scenarios that haven’t even happened or may never happen! Kids getting married, family or friends dying, their funerals, what things will happen and what they will look like.. silly hey?! All emotions are heightened and we mostly either cry or sleep. And the sleep is death like. There is nothing waking you from a ‘bipolar burnout’ slumber.. you’re out. Cold. dead. Deceased. For more that 15 hrs at a time. And when you do wake you are groggy and half asleep just awake enough to make it to the toilet and maybe to shovel some food in your face. But these crashes can also make us frustrated, foggy, easily irritated and just a shit to be around.
As I stated to begin with, bipolar minds are insane. Literally. We over think, over imagine and over analyse every single factor of our lives. We change constantly and anyone that didn’t say it was challenging to keep up, would be lying. Unfortunately these few things above are the only things I can put into words. The workings of our mind is so unique and strange that I’m not sure anyone could ever explain it thoroughly. But maybe after reading this total rambling shit show, you may have a better idea of where she may have been in her decision. We are mad. Literally mad and more often than not as ourselves can not explain why we do the things we do. It might be a good idea to come to terms with the possibility that you may never actually know what went wrong and learn to let it go.
First let’s start with removing the mental illness. It would help if you could share a few more details like, the circumstances leading up to the break up or her reasoning that you weren’t totally happy with or couldn’t understand? How long was your relationship? How old are you both? These things can all help in giving you a better hand understanding what might’ve taken place for her mentally. Could it be that there were real ‘non-bipolar’ things happening within your relationship? Maybe lack of trust or communication? Maybe she met someone else? Fighting? Arguing? Cheating? just because she has bipolar doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the cause of the break up. Ya get me? :)
so there is a million reasons people chose to end relationship ship.
I know this is definitely one that most people with bipolar face. I myself have this desire quite often. And this one comes on really strong! Despite having everything that I need at home.. Beautiful supportive partner, amazing children, nice things, great friends, enjoyable job, financially comfortable.. I still occasionally get the urge to run away. I believe the feeling comes from always being needed for something and the immense responsibility that comes with being a mother and partner. Even when my partner takes over and allows me time to myself and to rest, I still am in a place where I am needed. Either by my kids or my partner. Maybe it’s as simple as my partner asking where I put something, or my kids calling my name. Usually the sound of their voices is comforting but not during these episodes. I get the urge to up and leave. Gone and not be concerned with bills or responsibilities or adult life. Go and sleep in a tent in the middle of the bush with a girl friend. Get drunk or do drugs as much as I like and absolutely fuck myself up as much as I like. Stay up as late as I want and do anything I want. Not having to worry about anyone’s feelings or who is going to be disappointed in me. Not having to be home by a certain time or worry about responsibilities I might have the next day like getting up early with the kids or going to work. Just do whatever the fuck I damn well please. In the past I have ended up disappearing for a few days at a time, usually just hanging with a friend doing copious amounts of drugs, enough to forget about the rest of the world. I have also ended relationships because I didn’t understand this feeling. I thought that I just didn’t like the guy anymore and perhaps I had commitment issues or something. i wouldn’t wanna be around him or anyone so what else could that mean?! I would throw away good relationships with great guys just because I wanted to run away.. really I was just overwhelmed with responsibility and unfortunately for us bipolar baddies.. that’s just fucking life. Maybe she felt a sense of ‘runaway-itis’? Maybe she couldn’t handle the internal pressure that comes with worry about people we care for and how our actions can hurt or upset them.
1- Wanting to runaway.
In any of these states we make decisions that the real us, would never! No way! Not ever! We make plans, then cancel them, reschedule, then cancel again. Social butterfly to social anxiety. We pick fights and start arguments. We pick and poke and prod at shit that isn’t even that big of a deal.. Perhaps her mood may have changed or she may have had a mood swing that she hasn’t had in a very long time and that version of her may have broken up with you because it had different likes and dislikes to the version you knew. I know parts of me hate certain things, love others and dislike shit I usually do like. maybe the side of her with commitment issue shon through and she couldn’t do anything but push you away.
Wishing you well! Hope you find some answers or at least feel content with the outcome soon :)
2. Paranoia/anxiety
alright.. let’s move on to the actual mind of a woman with bipolar. Obviously I can only speak from my experience alone but i do know a few of my friends with the same diagnosis, that have felt or experienced the same feelings, urges or desires.
hopefully I can help you understand a few of the ‘simpler’ workings of the mind of a woman with bipolar. I also have ADHD and hyper fixate on explaining things so strap in! Can’t imagine this will be short! I tend to ramble ;) Woman alone are complex creatures.. chuck bipolar in the mix and boy oh boy.. it’s almost impossible!
What is the most inappropriate experience you have had with a friend's daughter?
Sorry to hear mate. Break ups suck no matter the circumstances.
I hope you were able to stick around to the end haha if you didn’t.. fuck ha! I wouldn’t blame you! Was a lot to read back through just to make sure it made sense.
okay so this one is kinda broad but all falls under the same umbrella. Bipolar makes your brain run wild and often we don’t know which emotions are coming from a real place or if it’s just one of those good ol’ tricks our little brains like to play. In the past I have developed serious trust issues purely because my mind needed something to do. I had such a warped perception of what was happening. If my boyfriend had a text sent from a female friend saying something like ‘what are you up to?’ My silly brain would make it sound like she was really saying ‘what are you up to ;)’ in a sexy sultry voice. If he liked a female friends photo on social media I would assume he sat there and analysed her body from head to toe.. believing that he actually sat there thinking about how perfect her bloody arm pits were or he was thinking ‘gee I wish my girl had knees that beautiful’.. like really?! it was a friend?! Of course you’re gonna like something that they post! He didn’t even give it a second thought and it was most likely just an autopilot reaction when he hit the ‘like’ button. the real me, under the delusions, is actually not easily jealous at all! I actually enjoy watching my partner have a little flirt and being bisexual, I love when my man can point out an attractive female or a nice arse so I can get a look of it as well! I appreciate my partner being a ‘safe space’ for my girlfriends and someone they know they don’t have to cover up or hide anything. We all love boobs, if you don’t mind him having a peek.. get em’ out!! Haha but having this silly little voice nagging at me that something is suspicious and they might be faking their conversations as to hide what was really going on. It’s truly exhausting. That’s where girls get the wrap for being crazy. Technically I guess we are :) well some of us ;) so I guess that is another option. Maybe she felt as though you were upto something simply and unfortunately because her brain made her believe it.